friendship maintenance,
one roast at a time.
Field notes on group chats, flaky friends, gym-skippers, and the art of the affectionate callout. Long-form for people who like the format too much to keep it to themselves.
Why roasting your friends is the love language of 2026
Affectionate roasting isn't being mean — it's signaling that the relationship is safe. A defense of the love language nobody admits to.
I sent my friend a 'you're being a little bitch' card. Here's what happened.
A first-person diary of sending a real callout card to a real friend. What I expected. What actually happened. Whether we're still friends.
The friend who always cancels last minute — a complete diagnostic
Why do they do it? What does it mean? Can it be fixed? An exhaustive field guide to the chronic flake in your life.
The thin line between passive-aggressive and actually funny
Both formats look the same on the surface. One repairs a friendship, one corrodes it. Here's how to tell them apart before you hit send.
An open letter to the gym buddy who keeps flaking
Three weeks. You said 'leg day Monday.' I have not seen leg day. I have seen your stories. Let's discuss.