friendship maintenance,
one roast at a time.
Field notes on group chats, flaky friends, gym-skippers, and the art of the affectionate callout. Long-form for people who like the format too much to keep it to themselves.
Anonymous friend cards, explained — what they are and why you'd send one
An anonymous card is the most affectionate way to call out a friend's small annoying habit. Here's the format, the etiquette, and why it works.
The 14 group-chat archetypes (and which one you secretly are)
Every group chat has the same 14 personalities. Find yourself, find the one who needs to be served, send the card.
How to call out a flaky friend without starting drama
Your friend cancels every time. You're tired. Here's how to address it lovingly — without the awkward sit-down conversation.
The art of the callout card: why a beautifully designed accusation always lands
Why does a card make a roast hit harder than a text? It's the format. Here's the design language and what each element does to the joke.
"some people know exactly what they did" — no they don't, and neither do you
the friend who posts a cryptic black-heart story at 11:47pm, waits for "omg are you ok??", then replies "i don't want to talk about it." you want to talk about it. we all know you want to talk about it.