the wall of bitches.

“Volunteered as designated driver, had "just one" mojito at 6:47pm, 8:52pm, and 10:15pm, then asked if anyone else could drive because he was "feeling responsible."”

“Insisted on driving to the airport, then needed "one quick errand" at the dry cleaner, missed check-in, blamed TSA for a flight she was never inside the building for.”

“Set the office AC to 78 "because he runs cold," then put on a FLEECE VEST to prove a point. it is July. we are all sweating for one man's comfort.”

“Watered the neighbor's plants ONE time while they were on vacation, then invoiced them $40 for 'plant sitting services rendered.'”

“put a greasy pizza box in the recycling, again, then sent a building-wide email about how we all need to do better. delphine. the box. it was YOURS.”

“Demanded one quick stop before the concert, the stop was a separate concert he wanted to see the last two songs of, we missed the entire opener.”

“took the entire pan of mac and cheese home from thanksgiving for the kids. fernanda does not have kids. fernanda has a FREEZER.”

“RSVP'd yes to the picnic, the game night, AND the birthday. no-showed all three with zero notice, same excuse every time: 'lost track of time.'”

“Gave an uninvited tarot reading at the housewarming, pulled the death card for the host, said "it's usually not literal" unprompted, ruined the mood entirely.”

“Insisted on splitting the Airbnb "evenly," then took the primary suite solo, cited a "bad back" he has never mentioned in four years of knowing him.”

“Announced she "doesn't do drama" directly before recounting, in granular detail, forty-five minutes of drama she personally started.”

“Told the whole gym his form is actually more important than the weight, then dropped a 15lb dumbbell from waist height for the echo.”