An open letter to the gym buddy who keeps flaking

You said "leg day, Monday."

It is Thursday. Of the following week. You have not done leg day. Your stories from this morning indicate you were at a brunch you described as "lowkey."

Let's discuss.

The agreement, as I understood it

We agreed:

• Mondays and Wednesdays.
• 6:45am.
• Lower body Monday, upper body Wednesday.
• I would handle the program. You would show up.

What has actually happened:

• Monday: you texted at 6:30 that you "didn't sleep great."
• Wednesday: you came. We did chest. You took 22 takes of a selfie in the squat rack. We did not, in fact, squat.
• Friday: you proposed making it a Saturday morning thing instead. Saturday is in three days, you said. I will be ready, you said.
• Saturday: did not happen. You were "running errands."
• Following Monday: same "didn't sleep great" text.
• Today: you have just posted a story from a brunch. The brunch was at 11am. You could have made the 6:45.

Things I have not said but am thinking

I am not in this for myself. I am in this for us. I bought us matching belts. I have a shared Notes app with our PR projections in it. I have, like an idiot, been telling other people I have a gym buddy.

The matching belts are an investment in a future where we both have the calves we discussed at length over drinks in February. Right now I have calves. You have the belt. This is asymmetric.

What's actually going on

I think we both know.

You don't want to go to the gym. You want to want to want to go to the gym. The first "want to" is real. The other two are aspirational. We can work with that. But not by pretending the schedule is the problem.

What I'm proposing

A few options, ordered from generous to unhinged:

1. Restructure. Once a week, Saturday morning, post-coffee, no PRs, just movement. You'd actually go. We can call it "active brunch."
2. Solo era. I go alone. You join when you want. The belt is yours to keep. No guilt, no schedule, no shared Notes app.
3. The card. I send you a card from imalittlebitch.com with level 7 — "menace" — that names the situation. You'll laugh. You'll forward it to the group chat. We'll both move on. Maybe you start showing up. Maybe you don't. The relationship is unharmed either way.

I am leaning toward option 3.

What I need from you

Just be honest. If you don't want to do this, say so. I'll be sad for a day and then I'll find a new gym buddy whose stories don't expose them.

If you do want to do this — actually want to, not aspirationally want to — say that too, and let's pick a schedule we can both keep. No more 6:45. No more "leg day, Monday" when neither of us means it.

What I can't keep doing is pretending the schedule is the problem when the schedule has never been the problem.

The card's already drafted, by the way. I'm just waiting to hear back.

P.S.

Yes, the belt is non-refundable.

If this letter feels familiar: we built a tool specifically for this exact situation. The pre-filled template is "skipped leg day. again. don't think we don't notice."